Oo Girl, You've Got She-Mail

As I have mentioned before, I am a big fan of RuPaul’s Drag Race. I think it is a phenomenal show and has helped rocket forward the acceptance of drag as an art form, but, like most things in life, it is not without fault. During season 6 (season 7 started on Monday and I could barely contain my excitement) the show came under serious heat from the trans community for presenting a mini challenge called “Female or She-male”. I tried to find a video of this segment, but to no avail, I am assuming all traces of it were removed from the internet after it caused so much controversy. To give a brief explanation of the challenge, the contestants were shown close-up photos celebrity body parts and had to guess if they belonged to a biological female or someone who identifies as female (she-male). After the episode aired there was enormous outcry from people who identify as transgender and found the segment insulting. In reaction to this, the channel the show is aired on, Logo, the self proclaimed gay network, banned all uses of the term she-male. However, this caused further controversy because, for as long as I’ve been watching the show at least, within the first few minutes of every episode RuPaul pops up on screen and delivers a video message to the remaining contestants with the phrase “Oo girl you’ve got she-mail” (click here for a soundbite).

Many have gone back and forth on whether this part of the show should have been cut, and it is interesting to hear people’s differing opinions. I’ve watched a few videos online of people expressing how they felt about the words ban and the two most interesting ones to me were this one, which is from the point of view of a transgender woman, and this one, which is from the point of view of a gay man. The woman in the first video said she found the challenge and use of the term she-male personally offensive, but had no qualms with the phrase she-mail. She admitted she actually enjoyed the play on words and thought it a fun joke. The man in the second video echoed the woman’s view that she-mail rather than she-male was a complex use of satire, rather than a direct attack on someone’s identity. He also raised an interesting point about what it means to reclaim a word and destroy it’s power to cause harm. To quote the video, “In the gay community it’s the F word, and in the black community it’s the N word, and in the trans community I personally don’t know”. This led me to question if she-mail could be the word the trans community takes back. It certainly seems like they are taking the necessary steps to do so, but I am curious to see how far this movement can actually go. Furthermore, I’m not so sure this is the word that causes the biggest impact. If indeed it is the intention of the trans community to take back a word, it seems to me like the T word would back a bigger punch. However, that being said, I am simply glad that there has been movement of any kind towards greater trans inclusion and I hope to see even more in the future.

Dude This is so Gay

This is a topic that frustrates me to no end. So often I hear people, especially teenage boys, refer to things as gay. I can't count how many times I have been walking through the hallways of my high school and heard "Ugh man that test was so gay" or "God these shorts are so gay, I hate them". Really? Was that test you just took a man who is physically attracted to men? Do your shorts want to be in a relationship with someone of the same sex? No? Well then stop calling them gay! I honestly find it utterly baffling why things are even described as gay. Unless you are describing the sexual orientation of someone who is actually gay there is no need to ever use the word in casual conversation.

Really the only thing the mutilation of the word gay shows is how engrained homophobia is in modern society. People calls things gay in a negative way, as if the worst insult you could give someone or something would be to say they like people of the same sex. To use a phrase that describes an unchangeable trait a person has no choice in inhabiting as a derogatory insult, is terribly upsetting. Especially when people who belong to the LGBTQIAP community use the term themselves to degrade or downplay someone of something. They are literally using a word that describes their own people to inflict pain or discomfort. How are they ever supposed to accept themselves if our language refuses to accept them? What an uncomfortable environment to exist in; to know that at any point someone, even someone you thought identified with you, could hurl a term across the room that simultaneously pinpoints a key part of your being and tears it to shreds.

Hopefully, with a little effort, we can move towards ending the awful misuse of the word gay. We can all do something small and stop the proliferation of the term in tracks by letting people know when they have used it derogatorily or incorrectly. Yes, you might get some frustrated looks. But is that really such a hard price to pay for a better, more accepting future?  

Meninism is For Real

Recently, a new, and incredibly stupid, social movement has cropped up all over the Internet. These new marauders of social justice are fighting for the obviously “lacking” rights of men, and they call themselves meninists. I’m not sure what exactly has sparked this development, but perhaps it is because there has been a greater push in the last couple of years to break down the stereotypes surrounding female behavior. It is becoming more “socially acceptable” to be a feminist, or at least more people in the public eye are coming out of the closet, so to speak, and labeling themselves as feminists. Obviously this is a problem for any self respecting man, because clearly in order for a woman to be secure in herself and self reliant would mean she will have to stop believing that men are superior, and we just can’t have that now can we? It is simply unacceptable to allow a woman to see herself as anything more than an object for men to posses. These meninists have therefore selflessly taken it into their own hands to cure these blasted women of the silly idea that they can be their own person.

I promise I’m not actively trying to attack the idea of meninism, but it is hard because the whole concept is just so horribly mistaken. These men, and women too I suppose, although I have yet to see a woman supporting meninism, have taken the idea of feminism and mutilated what it actually stands for. A feminist is someone who believes in the complete and utter equality of all genders, that includes trans and non binary persons as well. People who believe in feminism are not trying to strip men of their rights or force a matriarchy on society, as I have seen some feminist haters argue. They are simply striving for equal opportunity for everyone and seek to break down the negative stereotypes surrounding femininity that hurt both men and women alike. What it boils down to, is that meninism is for people who honestly just don’t know what feminism really is and have not made the effort to become informed.  

For anyone interested in learning more about the need for and power of feminism, I encourage you to watch Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED Talk “We should all be feminists”. I promise it is worth the 30 minutes. But don’t read the comments, they may make you want to hit something out of sheer frustration.

Finding Colin Firth, and a Teenage Pregnancy

Over winter break I reread the book Finding Colin Firth by Mia March. The story is told in the 3rd person but switches between the lives of three main characters, Gemma, Bea, and Veronica, in each chapter. To give a quick rundown of the pot, the novel starts with Bea finding out in a deathbed confessional from her mother that she was adopted. She then travels to Boothbay Harbor, Maine in search of Veronica, her birth mother. Veronica grew up in Boothbay, but when she became pregnant with Bea at sixteen, was exiled to Hope Home, a house for pregnant teens on the outskirts of town. After giving up Bea for adoption, she moved throughout the US waitressing and trying to forget her painful past, before returning to Boothbay to face her demons. The final character in this convoluted trio is Gemma. After losing her job and finding out she is pregnant, she comes to Boothbay to attend a friend’s wedding, but ends up staying to write a piece on Hope Home’s fiftieth anniversary for the local newspaper. It is through this article that she meets Bea, who is at Hope Home visiting where she was born. The two become friends and Gemma supports Bea as she makes contact with Veronica for the first time.  

This is certainly not the most academic book I have ever read, and it commits one of my cardinal sins of literature, typos in a published work, but it has a lot of heart. The characters pull you in and offer compelling narratives. Perhaps the most interesting parts of the novel, however, are the moments when Gemma interviews various people connected to Hope Home. Each person brings a new element to the story, whether they be a current resident, an adoptive parent, a past resident, or anything else that links them to the topic of teenage pregnancy. The author does a fantastic job of taking into account as many points of view as possible and offering the negatives alongside the positives. Yes, the book has a happy ending, but it also addresses many of the sadnesses that come out of having a teenage pregnancy not only today but in the past as well.  

This topic is a social movement in the sense that is an issue many are working towards acknowledging and preventing. As you can see from the graphs, teenage pregnancy has been more or less constantly trending downward.

(found here)

(found here)

According to this article,  two of the biggest reasons for this decrease are changing attitudes towards sex and sexuality, and better knowledge and use of contraceptives. More young people are being taught about sex and how to prevent unwanted pregnancies, two topics that were taboo in the 1960’s, when teenage pregnancy was at its peak. The article also says that the stable economy and promise of jobs in the mid 1990’s encouraged an overall decline in teen birth rates. In my personal opinion, I feel this plays to a larger factor of changing attitudes towards women’s roles. Back in the sixties it was expected that many women would be wives and mothers, careers or goals outside of the home weren’t really options for them. However, times have changed and more people are instilling in young girls the belief that they can do anything they set their minds to. I think this is encouraging them to be more careful in their sexuality, because they know they have big futures ahead of them and don’t want their plans derailed by an unexpected pregnancy.

On My Honor

It has become very hard for me to write this blog, because I am extremely frustrated. I'm not sure if I can actually put into words just how much I detest the idea of an honor system. Sure, by all means, be religious, be spiritual, be whatever, but don't you dare use your beliefs as a justification for reckless endangerment. And perhaps it isn't so much religion, but rather deeply ingrained patriarchy that has allowed this horrible, either way there is a problem that needs to be addressed. The idea of honor is being used as reasoning for murder countless women in muslim majority societies. Just earlier this year a woman was killed for defying her parents and refusing to marry the man they had chosen for her.  When asked, her family showed no remorse and felt their actions were just and good. After all, they were simply trying to protect the family's honor.

Murder is not the only outlet for honor protection. In addition to manslaughter, some in these societies practice female genital mutilation (FGM) as well. One of the things that bothers me the most about FGM is when people try to compare it to male circumcision. They are not the same. They will never be the same. Circumcision is performed at infancy, before the little boy has the ability to recall any part of the procedure being undertaken. Furthermore, it is often performed because some believe it improves the cleanliness and overall health of the penis. These are not the ideas applied to FGM, not even close. FGM is all about power and forcing young girls to understand that they are not in control of their bodies. The procedure is typically performed between the ages of 5 and 15, well with in the years when lasting memories are formed. These girls are given no anesthesia and forced to experience every moment of the excruciatingly painful procedure. In some cases the clitoris is simply cut to reduce the possibility of the woman experiencing sexual pleasure, but in others the vagina is sewn almost completely shut, making intercourse and childbirth unthinkable. The point is to secure the honor of the girl and her family but making it damn near impossible for her to have premarital sex. In a society where women are still valued by whether or not a man has had his way with her, a procedure that insures her purity is crucial.

Thank God, Allah, Yahweh, or any other higher power (or lack there of) you subscribe to that there are people out there who realize just how terrible these atrocities against women really are. Recently I watched a documentary called Honor Diaries, which features nine women’s rights activists in muslim majority societies discussing gender inequality. These inspiring ladies are dedicated to bringing light to the plight of women suffering under the idea of honor. I greatly encourage everyone to watch the film. It provides a shocking glimpse into such a tragic world. Luckily, they are not alone in this battle, and organizations like Global Fund for Women have been created to further the success of the movement against barbaric treatment towards women.

I can not say when or what will be the tipping point in this movement, but it needs to come quickly. Women are suffering and it is completely unacceptable.

After Tiller, Before Acceptance

Recently, I watched a documentary called After Tiller, which follows the careers of Dr. Leroy Carhart, Dr. Warren Hern, Dr. Susan Robinson, and Dr. Shelly Sella, the only four doctors in the United States who can perform late-term abortions, after the 2009 assassination of their colleague Dr. George Tiller. Tiller performed late-term abortions and was shot by anti-abortion activist Scott Roeder, while serving as an usher at the Reformation Lutheran Church in Wichita.

Before watching this, I had absolutely no idea such a situation even existed. Obviously I was familiar with the struggle for the rights of women to have the ability to terminate their pregnancies if they so choose, but I had never considered or heard of the struggle of doctors who are tasked with helping women end a pregnancy after the so-called “deadline” for abortions. Most states have time restrictions on what they deem to be a legal abortion, but it can vary greatly from place to place, which only creates more confusion and a greater challenge for people trying to help women who have surpassed the states cut off date (for a list of each states week restrictions follow this link).  

These people really are doing amazing work. They face death threats, frustratingly ridiculous laws, and constant stigma, simply because they are trying to help people. All four doctors unanimously agree that the reason they stay in their field of work, despite all of it’s hardships, is because they know if they were not around to assist women who wish to receive abortions, those women would become desperate and find other, possibly dangerous, ways to end their pregnancies. At one point Dr. Susan Robinson laments that she doesn’t feel she can ever retire because there are so few people who do her work, she worries about what the future will hold for her patients if she is not around. Due to their amazing dedication and constant support of women’s rights, I believe that these four doctors are themselves a small but crucial social movement. They are tireless in their efforts to complete their jobs to the best of their abilities and they constantly push for greater acceptance and support of not only themselves, but the women the work with as well. Their understanding is essential to the welfare of anyone who doesn’t feel they can continue a pregnancy.

So, because they are their own movement, I must ask; what then is the tipping point? When will people understand that there are so many reasons to end a pregnancy and these doctors are simply doing what is best for their patients. The movie interviews several women seeking late-term abortions and each of them has a different and highly personal reason for choosing to do so. A few have babies who will not survive after birth because of various conditions, one woman became pregnant after being rape, another woman does not have the financial means to support herself let alone a child, and the last girl they interview is a teenager who is not ready to become a mother. All of these women have completely valid reasons for wanting an abortion and yet many try to stop them performing an act that has the possibility of bettering the situations of both the mothers and the children. 

In the mindset of Betty Friedan, I am not pro-abortion, I am pro a woman’s right to choose. No one wants an abortion, it isn’t a pleasing or satisfying act, but for many it is necessary and were it not for these four courageous doctors a number of people would be denied the access to their reproductive rights. This is a movement that can not be allowed to die.  

Edit: This is a fantastic spoken-word poem about abortion called "What Women Deserve" by Sonya Renee

C'mon Queens

Today I would like to talk about something near and dear to my heart, and that is drag queen culture. This is a social movement that has been somewhat quieter but incredibly powerful nonetheless. The first real markers of this drag revolution were the Stonewall Inn riots beginning June 28th 1969. Back in the sixties it was illegal for people to wear the clothes of the opposite gender and often people who felt compelled to dress in such a way were the targets of police raids at the few bars that allowed openly gay people to enter.

These riots were the first of their kind and paved the way for men and women to dress in whatever style or gender of clothing they saw fit. Additionally, as they were covered by multiple newspapers, they allowed the American reader a first look at an underground world.

After the Stonewall Inn riots, there were two major events in the 1980’s and 90’s that continued the proliferation of drag culture into mainstream society. The first was the premiere of the controversial documentary Paris Is Burning and the second was the rise of the Club Kid scene. Paris Is Burning was an extraordinary film that followed the lives of the performers of New York City drag balls. It depicted the participants as real people who were simply exploring their identity. Also, fun fact, the movie was the first to show the dance style of “voguing” and a year after it’s release Madonna came out with her hit single “Vogue”.The film did so well and received such high acclaim that it remains to this day one of the most significant  players in the movement towards drag acceptance. Additionally, the Club Kid scene that was created around the same time garnered such widespread attention that some of the key performers, such as James St. James (seen below out of drag), were welcomed onto popular talk shows like Geraldo and The Joan Rivers Show. This showed an opening up of American society to the idea of the drag artform. 

Moving into the 2,000’s there has been an even greater trend towards drag recognition through the work of the smash hit show  RuPaul’s Drag Race (Creator RuPaul is pictured below both in and out of drag)The program began in February of 2009 and on November sixth of this year announced that it would be returning for season seven in January (I encourage you to take a look at that link, it has a very interesting tribute to some of the most memorable drag performances throughout history). Contestants from the show have gone on to be wildly successful. One of the most controversial people to ever compete on Drag Race, Willam Belli, is now an incredible youtube star, where she and singing Partners Vicki Vox and Detox post playful but thought provoking music videos. She has over 318K subscribers and their most popular video has 15 million views and counting. Other performers have also made names for themselves and recently Starbucks released it’s first ever LGBTQIAP (please forgive me if I have failed to include anyone’s gender identity, this is just the most inclusive acronym I know of) commercial which included two of season six’s most popular queens, Adore Delano and Bianca Del Rio. 

All of this represents a growing acceptance of personal identity and the movement that has allowed drag culture to be accepted in “normal” society. Hopefully, the future will bring nothing but continued success amongst all humanity as we strive to welcome people of every shape, style, and personal expression.